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Description
(Based on the script I submitted for Nickelodeon. Here's to hoping for the greenlights.)
#rocketpropelledpies #funnystory
“FUNNY STORY”
Action, Fantasy, Surreal, Slapstick Comedy
“PILOT”
by Manny O.
EXT. GREAT YORKIE SEA – NIGHT
Five different cuts of the Yorkie Sea
Timpanis roll louder, and louder.
A gloved hand raises a pie with a string fizzling on top.
The drumming stops.
Cut to loud, colorful fireworks bursting
Revealing a chaotic boat chase below, with explosive pies thrown at a big fat kangaroo, and a well-groomed opossum rowing away in their dinghy.
BUCK A. ROO & NICKLEBY: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!
A pie flies past the screen.
Cut to slight flashing colors.
Quirky, Marching Band-styled music plays.
CUE “FUNNY STORY” TITLE CARD
BUCK: Who signed up for this!?
Nickleby raises his eyebrows at Buck.
Nickleby slams a pie onto an enemy's face. Its dinghy skids back, and explodes.
Nickleby grabs a trumpet and blows their country's bugle to intimidate the other boats, enticing an enemy dinghy to come after them. Nickleby blows on the trumpet so hard, the enemy's dinghy flies away and explodes. Buck salutes.
BUCK: YORKIE, REPRESENT!
Nickleby nudges Buck.
NICKLEBY: Buck. RPPs. Take cover.
Buck: What?
(Cut to a boat filled with a box labelled “Rocket-Propelled Pies”)
NICKLEBY: Hey. Where's the new guy?
Buck: And our BOX?
[beat]
(The faces of both Buck and Nickleby read “UH-OH.”)
EXT. GREAT YORKIE SEA – NIGHT
Five different cuts of the Yorkie Sea
Timpanis roll louder, and louder.
A gloved hand raises a pie with a string fizzling on top.
The drumming stops.
Cut to loud, colorful fireworks bursting
Revealing a chaotic boat chase below, with explosive pies thrown at a big fat kangaroo, and a well-groomed opossum rowing away in their dinghy.
BUCK A. ROO & NICKLEBY: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!
A pie flies past the screen.
Cut to slight flashing colors.
Quirky, Marching Band-styled music plays.
CUE “FUNNY STORY” TITLE CARD
BUCK: Who signed up for this!?
Nickleby raises his eyebrows at Buck.
Nickleby slams a pie onto an enemy's face. Its dinghy skids back, and explodes.
Nickleby grabs a trumpet and blows their country's bugle to intimidate the other boats, enticing an enemy dinghy to come after them. Nickleby blows on the trumpet so hard, the enemy's dinghy flies away and explodes. Buck salutes.
BUCK: YORKIE, REPRESENT!
Nickleby nudges Buck.
NICKLEBY: Buck. RPPs. Take cover.
Buck: What?
(Cut to a boat filled with a box labelled “Rocket-Propelled Pies”)
NICKLEBY: Hey. Where's the new guy?
Buck: And our BOX?
[beat]
(The faces of both Buck and Nickleby read “UH-OH.”)
-MEANWHILE-
-END OF SC. 1
FUNNY STORY™ 2015
FUNNY STORY™ 2015
(PS: If you want the rest of the script-- comment below!)
Image size
900x1273px 620.11 KB
© 2015 - 2024 TOON-STER
Comments15
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactThis is quite cool, however since you have so much going on in the scene it might be better to clean it up a bit.
I find it difficult to tell off the bat whats going on. I do really like the roughness of the scene but it is too much to take in all at once.
If there's one thing I had to change I'd say the pies - they need to be way bigger or brighter (or have an effect) to be visible within the chaos.
Maybe if the background where whited out a little bit it would be an easy fix to tell whats going on in the foreground.
Anyway its great! Good luck with the greenlighting <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>